THE ONE

THE ONE On my first deployment, I was a young and naïve soldier with no family of my own.  The thought of dying was far removed from my conscious, barely a blip on my radar.  Even when faced with exploding things and some fairly fucked up shit, I still rarely considered my own mortality.  None … Continue reading THE ONE

NUGGET NUMBER 4: COMING HOME

It’s hard to put a finger on exactly when the feelings began, but it was early in my return home. I think it was partly the realization that while we had been fighting and dying in the desert, everyone else had gone on with their lives like nothing was happening.

Garry Owens in the Mist

Within the U.S. military there exists a special creature. This creature, in its natural habitat, can often be found in isolated areas with nominal support. This isolation from the larger force, combined with a few centuries of evolution, has resulted in the multi-wheeled conundrum that is the Cavalry Scout.

NUGGET Number 1: The Fixer

I couldn’t share these feelings with my wife or my family; I was their protector. I couldn’t let them get a glimpse of this toxic mass of shit welling up in the corners of my mind. I attempted to open up to a few in the mental health community, but I could see the panic in their eyes when I got even remotely close to real talk. No, it was clear-I was on my own, because I am a Fixer.